Cont'd form The Middle

Drugs...so easy to get to, so fun to get hooked on.

I didn't do anything crazy. I guess you can call me a scaredy cat. I did one thing and one thing only and all I can say is that it's the 1st thing most people try. Maybe I did two, if you consider alcohol a drug? Diet pills too, so I guess you can bump that up to three?

I felt like I had the best life when I did what I did. Nothing nor no one could tell me different. I didn't have much or any kind of relationship with any of my family. But they all said at some point thoughtout this time I need to talk to some professional help. And for the life of me I couldn't understand. I went to work, I had fun and when night came I went to sleep and usually 4 hours later I was up doing the came thing over again.

That lasted for about a year. I was down to 155 pounds form the 250 + size me, I'd always been. People like to ask if I was sick. No, why the fuc do you ask *mean face* I was working my tail off but some how was putting myself into more and more debt. Oh yah, and less sleep. I was invincible, I was Shera, I could do anything and no one could tell me different...

Until one day...

I got so mad at someone that I work with...It was like something snapped in my brain, and I felt light head and my heart started to race. I didn't know what was wrong with me. The room was spinning. And Everyone asked what's wrong. But I could only look confused at them. Someone said "she might be having a heart attack." In my head: What ta Fuck, I can't die, not yet.

I ended up on a ambulance and they're asking me if I'd done and drugs, because I'll could do is ask for water and my heart rate what up to 190 bpm and that was freaking me out. I couldn't have any water because they said it might complicate things. But still they kept asking me it I'd did and drugs. And finally I could answer, because I was becoming aware of my surroundings, and told them that I'd only had a little weed *hummm? Did I say that; dunno waht you'er talking about* the night before, just enough to go to sleep. *really it was a small amout*

I got to the hospital and they hooked me up to this machine, but it only turns out that I was having a panic attack. Man I really thought I was dieing.

To be continued: The Panic